Compliments and Wishes

Are You a Giver or a Receiver?

Apr 20, 2026

a young boy with his mouth open and a toothbrush in his hand — Photo by KaroGraphix Photography on Unsplash

Hey, how are you doing today?

Do you know that the way you interact with others can do amazing things for your mental health?

We live in turbulent times right now. What I’ve learnt after surviving my own personal hell, is that in times of stress you have to be taking care of yourself first.

The way I see it is that most people have somebody who depend on you every day. You may have a family with kids, and pets who rely on you to be their rock and keep them ticking over like a cog in an engine. The daily grind of every day dramas. Heck, just getting out the front door can be hard some days as a mom.

If you’re not there, who will fulfill that role?

You matter and you are important.

I have this thing that I do every single day that started off as a dare with some of my students about a decade ago, and now it’s become who I am.

I try and make my days better by doing something selfless. I give people compliments and I give “wishes.” By wishes, I mean a veiled compliment in how something can be improved from a small change.

Can you imagine doing that?

Something as simple as giving someone a compliment can do wonders for your mental health. Let’s face it, we all love hearing good things about ourselves. It makes us feel good inside. Giving a compliment has the same affect on you.

Do you remember how you felt at Christmas when you gave someone a gift that they really wanted?

The look on their face, young or old — you can’t beat that feeling. It’s contagious and it could last all year round by giving little compliments.

Simple phrases like these can go a long way to improve both your mental health and others.

I love your shoes, the color brings out your height. (To someone who takes pride in her high heels in the office but you would never wear yourself.)

I like your tie, it goes well with that suit. (To a male colleague going into a meeting with visitors.) This comment says that you do notice the effort he has made to look professional for a big meeting.

You did great in math today, have you been studying at home? (To a student who’s struggled in class but you notice a difference in their attitude to their work even if it’s not perfect yet.)

Noticing what other people wear, how they act and communicate is important. We feel connected when we compliment people and it makes us feel good too. It’s like we are saying, “I see you,” and I understand.

Everyone has a natural need for belonging, and complimenting others is a great way to do just that.

The second thing I do every day is give someone a “wish.” I call it that because it’s a bit like a compliment for what’s to come. I’ll say to my kids “I wish you’d put your socks in the laundry so that mommy can spend more time playing with you than pick them up.” (Works every time)

“Wishes” are like gentle reminders that something isn’t quite right but it can be easily fixed. I say to my students things like “This is a great description. It would be awesome with a few more adjectives.”

Wishes aren’t meant to make someone feel bad. They are meant as a gentle nudge to improve something that has the potential to be much better with one or two simple changes.

Life shouldn’t be hard all the time. We need a break from all the negativity and crisis around us. It starts by being kinder to ourselves and others.

Change always starts with you.

Will you start complimenting people from now?

Are you brave enough to throw in a “wish” here and there too?

Remember, you matter.

My name is Lizzy. I’m a trauma survivor, a wife, a mom, a teacher, and an author.

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For more about me: www.elizabethwoodsauthor.com

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Elizabeth Woods

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